Ready

This time 2 years ago, Nate and I decided that we were ready for another baby. What we didn't know, was that it would take us 15 months just to get pregnant. Our lives were a roller coaster of emotions during that time, and there were plenty of months that we just couldn't see the light at the end of the tunnel. And then in December we finally got the unattainable: a positive pregnancy test. I cannot explain the relief and happiness that overcame me. We finally had something that we had hoped, prayed, and wished for, and I was determined to enjoy every single aspect of this pregnancy. I was thrilled when I couldn't fit into my regular clothes anymore, and opened my bins of maternity clothes with excitement and anticipation. I welcomed the all-day sickness that seemed to last forever, and I celebrated those first tiny flutters of life.

I reveled in sharing this pregnancy with Nate when nobody else knew. And even more, I loved the fact that we could share it with Grayson. I love showing him my belly, and having him pretend that he can talk to his sister. I love that he has been talking for months about all of the things that he wants to teach her, and I love telling him what a great big brother he is going to be.

I have loved watching my body change and grow to accommodate this baby. Even now, I can honestly say that for one of the first times in my life I love my body, even on the days that I can't find a shirt to cover my belly.

I wanted to enjoy this pregnancy forever and not complain about the aches and pains, or the exhaustion, or even the difficulty of being a mom to Gray while I am carrying a watermelon around under my shirt. And for the most part I have. But now I'm ready. I'm ready to meet this little person that I have carried for the past 36 weeks. I am ready to see the feet that have been kicking me, and the elbows and knees that I feel poking out of my stomach. I am ready to see her little face and decide who she looks like. I am anxious for her to make her arrival so that she can meet her big brother and see how lucky she is. And though I am bound and determined to make it through the rest of this month, I am ready to meet this little miracle so that I can hold her in my arms and share her with the rest of the world.