A few weeks ago 

I came around the corner just in time 

to look up and see my sweet boy trying to 

catch the sunbeams streaming through the window.

It was such a breath-taking moment for me. 

 Life with Gray is an almost daily struggle for me these days.  

He wants so desperately to be seen and treated as an older kid, 

but still can't be completely trusted on his own.  

He has an attitude that he likes to try out for size 

and almost always with me.  

I struggle with being too hard on him and

having expectations that are too high 

at the same time that I want to bury my face 

and cry because I feel like I'm failing 

to raise him to be the best person he can be.

 Finding him in a quiet moment like this one 

with his guard down and only 

the wonder of a little boy in his eyes 

stops my heart and reminds me to breathe 

when the going gets rough.